I bet you could suck a golf ball

We also have another edition of Zero Blog Theatre. This time we talk about Full Metal Jacket. I didnt realize how much Gunnery Sergeant Hartman was concerned. "You look like the kind of guy that could suck a golf ball through a garden hose! Hell I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!" 1. Collapse. Full Metal Jacket () clip with quote i bet he could suck a golf ball through a garden hose Yarn is the i bet you could suck a golf ball search for video clips by quote. Full Metal Jacket () clip with quote -Sir, no, sir. -Bullshit. I'll bet you could suck a golf ball Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote.

Vincent D'Onofrio: Pvt. Pyle

You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day, you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard, you will not like me.

But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Did your parents have any children that lived. Private Gomer Pyle : Sir, yes, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : I bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece. What's your name fat body. I bet you could suck a golf ball Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Lawrence?

Lawrence what Private Gomer Pyle : Sir, no, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : That name sounds like royalty. Are you royalty. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Do you suck dicks. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence.

From now on you're Gomer Pyle. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you. Private Joker : Are those Private Gomer Pyle : Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : How tall are you, private?

Private Cowboy : Sir, five-foot-nine, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high. What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head. Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights-out. Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon. Why aren't you stomping Private Pyle's guts out. Private Joker : Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor that Private Pyle has a full magazine that is locked and loaded, Sir!

And you listen good. I want that weapon, and I want it now. You will place that rifle on the deck at your feet, and step back away from it. Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child. Animal Mother : You a photographer. Private Joker : I'm a combat correspondent. Animal Mother : Well, you seen much combat. Private Joker : [ sarcastic ] I've seen a little on TV.

Animal Mother : You're a real comedian. Private Joker : Well, they call me the Joker. Animal Mother : Well I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole. Private Joker : [ doing John Wayne impression ] Well, pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit!

Animal Mother : You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk. Door Gunner : Git some. Git some. Git some, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone who runs, is a VC. Anyone who stands still, is a well-disciplined VC. You guys oughta do a story about me sometime. Genesis scottish open leaderboard 2023 Private Joker : Why should we do a story about you?

Door Gunner : 'Cuz I'm so fuckin' good. I done got me dead gooks killed. Plus 50 water buffalo, too. Them's all confirmed. Private Joker : Any women or children. Door Gunner : Sometimes. Private Joker : How can you shoot women or children. Door Gunner : Easy. Ya just don't lead 'em so much. Ain't war hell. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Today There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty!

Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few Marines. God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the Marine Corps!

So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps. Do you ladies understand. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Where the hell are you from anyway, private. Private Cowboy : Sir, Texas, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Holy dog shit. Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down.

Do you suck dicks. I bet you could suck a golf ball Private Cowboy : Sir, no, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Are you a peter puffer. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece and short.

I'm in a world of shit But I am alive. And I am not afraid. Private Joker : Sir, no, sir. Private Joker : Sir, the private said "no, sir," sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit. Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don't ya?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Private Joker, are you trying to offend me. Sir, the private believes any answer he gives will be wrong and the Senior Drill Instructor will only beat him harder if he reverses himself, SIR. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Who's your squad leader, scumbag. Private Joker : Sir, the squad leader is Private Snowball, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Private Snowball. Private Snowball : Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Private Snowball, you're fired. Private Joker's promoted to squad leader. Private Snowball : Sir, aye-aye, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Disappear, scumbag. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Private Pyle. Private Gomer Pyle : Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir. He'll teach you everything, he'll teach you how to pee. Private Gomer Pyle : Sir, yes, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Private Joker is silly and he's ignorant, but he's got guts, and guts is enough in my beloved Corps!

Now, you ladies carry on. Private Joker : Leonard, if Hartman comes in here and catches us, we'll both be in a world of shit. Private Joker : I wanted to see exotic Vietnam I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : [ Hartman gives a speech to the graduating recruits ] Today, you people are no longer maggots. Today, you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood. From now on until the day you die, wherever you are, every Marine is your brother. Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Marines die.

That's what we're here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever. And that means YOU live forever. Pogue Colonel : Marine, what is that button on your body armor. Private Joker : A peace symbol, sir. Pogue Colonel : Where'd you get it. Private Joker : I don't remember, sir. Pogue Colonel : What is that you've got written on your helmet?

Private Joker : "Born to Kill", sir. Pogue Colonel : You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke. Private Joker : No, sir. Pogue Colonel : You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you. Private Joker : Yes, sir. Pogue Colonel : Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.

Private Joker : I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir. Pogue Colonel : The what. Private Joker : The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir. Pogue Colonel : Whose side are you on, son. Private Joker : Our side, sir. Pogue Colonel : Don't you love your country?

Pogue Colonel : Then how about getting with the program. Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win. Pogue Colonel : Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son.

We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over. Private Joker : Aye-aye, sir. Private Joker : The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get.

Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over. You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut. Recruits : [ chanting ] This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine.

My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will.

Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Order, hut. Good night, ladies. Recruits : Good night, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : [ to the watchman ] Hit it, sweetheart. Crazy Earl : These are great days we're living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth shooting.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : [ as Joker checks and then holds up his rifle for inspection, Hartman takes the rifle and proceeds to inspect it ] What's your sixth general order. Private Joker : Sir. The private's sixth general order is to receive and to obey -- and to pass on to the sentry who relieves me -- all orders from the CO, from the OD, from any and all other officers, and from NCOs of the guard!

The private's weapon's name is the Bitch, sir. Now get on your face and give me 25. Private Joker : Twenty-five. Yes, sir. Private Gomer Pyle : [ hard and firm tone ] Sir. Four counts, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : What's the idea of looking down in the chamber. Private Gomer Pyle : Sir. That is to guarantee that the private is not giving the inspecting officer a loaded weapon, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : What's your fifth general order. The private's fifth general order is to quit my post only when properly relieved, sir. The private's weapon's name is Charlene, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Private Pyle, you are definitely born again hard!

Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps. Da Nang Hooker : Hey, baby. You got girlfriend Vietnam. Private Joker : Not just this minute. Da Nang Hooker : Well, baby, me so horny. Me love you long time. You party. Private Joker : Yeah, we might party. How much. Da Nang Hooker : Fifteen dollar. Private Joker : Fifteen dollars for both of us?

Da Nang Hooker : No. Each you fifteen dollar. Private Joker : Fifteen dollar too beaucoup. Five dollars each. Da Nang Hooker : Me sucky-sucky. Me love you too much. Private Joker : Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend. Da Nang Hooker : Okay. Ten dollar each. Private Joker : What do we get for ten dollars. Da Nang Hooker : Every t'ing you want.

Private Joker : Everything. Da Nang Hooker : Every t'ing. Private Joker : [ to Rafterman ] Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of your hard-earned money. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o' shit, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he. Know another quote from Full Metal Jacket. Don't let people miss on a great quote from the "Full Metal Jacket" movie - add it here!

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